Are Germans Rude? Killing the Stereotypes
by BENNY LEWIS
Rather than learning languages for academic or professional
reasons, I do it to vastly improve my travel experience by allowing me to socialize
almost entirely with residents of the country I am visiting.
Even though all the studying I did in for my
exam in Berlin prevented me from socializing as much as I would have
liked, after spending four months there I can say that I have a better
understanding of German (and in particular Berlin) culture, and I am ready to
challenge the silly stereotypes that too many people have of the Germans and
the German language.
German sounds horrible!
It might be true that more typical languages that English
learners tend to go for like French and Spanish can sound pleasant to listen to
even if you don’t understand them, but it’s better to think outside of those
limitations. Comparing German to Italian, for example, is like comparing ice
cream to pizza. The most enjoyable food doesn’t have to be “hot” and certain
aspects of communicating in German can be more pleasant than in other
languages.
English and German are in the same language family (Germanic),
so a lot of what makes German sound “different” can actually be its
similarities that we don’t notice in English and may not expect to encounter in
other languages. Listen to this video of what English sounds like to
non-natives (from an Italian perspective) and you’ll get a better idea of how
strange it can be!
English also has weird strings of consonants that can cause
problems to non-natives but seem totally normal to us. Words like catchphrase and thousandths have
several consecutive consonants together that German doesn’t outdo much
(definitely not as much as a language like Czech).
The tone and musicality of German is actually something that
makes it much easier to understand and leaves less room for misinterpretation,
as is the case in other languages. The clear separation of words vastly helps
you to understand them (compared to French for example where words are merged
together when spoken). I find the discussion of whether this is “pretty” or not
to be totally irrelevant myself. We may as well argue about which colour is the
“best”.
Why are they so angry?
This superficial argument is like saying you understand what
the elephants are thinking as you see them through binoculars on safari.
Without the right context and understanding of how German works, any
conclusions you might make may amount to nothing remotely close to the truth.
The clear way that Germans speak is
something that we would tend to do in English if we were angry and wanted to
make it clear what we are angry about. For example, you can imagine an angry
mother sternly warning her son: “Don’t – you – dare – do –
that!” clearly enunciating each word.
This is a style of expressing anger in English.
Applying it to German just doesn’t work in the same way. In understanding what
they were saying I can generally say that from my (albeit limited) experience,
Germans lose their temper way less than many English-speakers
would do. In fact, Germans tend to be way more patient from what I’ve seen.
What sounds harsh to the untrained ear can actually be a funny joke or helpful
advice etc. when you listen to the actual words.
When you actually pay attention to what they are saying,
rather than applying the wrong non-verbal cues (using English tone
and body language rules) to imagine what you think they are saying,
you’ll see that they are talking about the same things you and your friends
talk about in other languages.
They all speak English and will never help you with your
German
As expected, when I announced that I’d be in Berlin for this
mission (rather than some small unknown village), many people told me
that I’d find it extremely difficult to convince Berliners to help me with my
German, since they all speak “perfect” English.
Like in other places there are people who did poorly in
school, or don’t expose themselves to foreigners enough to maintain a
good level. But for the most part, they do indeed have a better level of
English than southern Europeans or some Asian countries.
Despite this, it was extremely easy to convince Germans
to help me.
Even in my first week I was successful and for the
main three months of the mission I almost never spoke English
with Germans – the few times I did were because other foreigners (not learning
German) were present or in my final weeks before leaving. When they saw how
devoted I was to my project they were happy to give me lots of encouragement to
boot!
This confusion is another issue that results from the
Germans being accused of something that is actually entirely the lazy learners‘fault.
Germans are actually usually really helpful so if you look like you are
undergoing medieval torture as you struggle to speak the language, they’ll want
to save you from that discomfort and may speak English because of that.
I made sure to make it clear that I was enjoying myself,
that I was devoted to making serious progress and used all my usual social (Language
Hacking) tricks when out and speaking with new people, and without
exception I never even had to work hard to convince anyone to help me,
even when my level was quite poor. They simply went with the flow. Sadly the
flow many expats command is “German is too hard and Germans don’t want to hear
me try” and that mantra becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
German is one of the hardest languages in the world
Since I’ve also learned other “hardest languages” in the
world, like Hungarian and Japanese, I will discuss this ridiculous
concept another time soon. But first, I can confirm that German itself isn’t
particularly inherently harder than many other languages in
the world. It all depends on the learner and his/her attitude.
Expats I met who had been living in Germany for a long time
would complain about how German is too hard to speak, and I could see very
clearly and told them very frankly that this complaint and devotion to
believing in it was what was actually holding them back from speaking it.
I was attempting the exact same language as they were – the
main difference I see is that they simply focus on the negative and look for
more reasons to prevent them from speaking it. An optimistic approach can
dramatically change their potential to make progress. What helps me to get
through languages quicker is not some magic part of my brain that has sprouted
up in recent years to turn me into a language-guru–it’s actually the ability to
focus on the positive and have new information about the language help me
to progress rather than hinder me.
But simply telling someone “Chin up! It’s not that bad!” is
not enough, since there are aspects to the language that can seem
intimidating at first, especially if its your first foreign language and if its
explained to you in traditional dull academic ways.
Because of this I will be writing in great detail about Why
German isn’t as hard as you thinkand will take all the “hardest” aspects of
the language and attempt to explain them in such a way as to turn some
pessimists into optimists and help struggling learners dramatically improve
their progress by attacking what I feel is the route of the problem for a lot
of them: the wrong attitude that German is hard.
I learned German for five years in school and the wrong
attitude kept me believing that aspects of German were too complicated for me
to get my head around them, and so I did poorly in my exams and never truly
dived into properly speaking German until this year. Starting over fresh and
forgetting the overly technical way that the language was explained to me in
school saved me from being doomed to never speaking it.
In my book hacking
the German language: giving short-cuts to get around
seemingly difficult aspects, explaining a better way to look at the Accusative,
Dative, Genitive problem, and seeing that the word order and remembering
vocabulary is actually way easier than people think it is.
Sometimes all you need is to hear these things explained in the right
(non-overly-technical) way and it all makes perfect sense. This guide will not
attempt to replace any courses, but augment them for learners already vaguely
familiar with the language but feeling intimidated by it.
I am positive that what I have to say can help people to
progress in their German, as I have been giving this advice to other learners
throughout my time in Berlin to help those struggling with the language
themselves and it worked to help some of them get out of their shell and
finally speak.
Are Germans strict/rude?
There are many stereotypes I won’t even dignify with a
response, but the strict one comes up a lot. I imagine this is
influenced by the “German sounds harsh” idea, and perhaps gets combined with
the Germans’ fame for efficiency. How well they design cars was the least of my
concerns for my time there though.
I did find it curious that Berliners would almost always wait
at red traffic lights before walking across the road, even when there were no
cars for miles. Most other places I’ve been would have people “jaywalking” in
this situation quite frequently (I personally consider the red man a suggestion rather
than a rule; it’s a good suggestion only if cars are actually on the road).
You will also see bus stops indicate the minute the bus is
expected to arrive at any given stop – I remember how hilarious Brazilians found
this concept when I mentioned it to them, but I think things like this are
helpful and it’s something I’ll miss in other countries. Conveniences like this
have come so naturally to me over the last few months that I simply consider
other countries as doing it wrong to be honest.
One thing that may influence the idea of them being “rude”
is that I did find Germans to be very honest. Nobody will ever argue
about this being bad, but some Germans tend to be very frank about
the truth and this will probably hurt your feelings if you are too sensitive. I
actually found it quite refreshing, but it took some getting used to!
So, if you’re sensitive about your weight etc. you should
probably not ask Germans if those jeans make you look fat!
But this isn’t rudeness. You could argue that many other
countries are way too sensitive – to the point of dancing around issues and
never being direct enough.
Germans have no sense of humour!
When Germans laugh and smile, it’s because something is
genuinely funny. I don’t like the inauthentic “thank you for shopping at
Wal-mart” smile that is sometimes overused in places like the states. Many
European countries don’t go around laughing and smiling at every single thing,
and this means that when they do smile/laugh you know its genuine.
What this means is that if someone doesn’t laugh at your
joke (either because they do think it’s funny but not enough to guffaw out
loudly, or because it’s actually a terrible joke) you might think that they
don’t have a sense of humour. I don’t know if it’s my personality or being
Irish, but I didn’t find this at all in Germany and found many Germans quite
hilarious and content people.
Anywhere you go requires a change in mindset
The fact of the matter is, if you truly believe any of the
above headings, you will filter out any information that doesn’t support it and
only look for confirmation, and you’ll probably find it. I know this because I
did it myself when I refused to be open minded about a culture I
didn’t like in the past. I’ve met people who insist that I’m not “really” Irish
because I don’t drink, and not surprisingly if they spent time in Ireland, most
of it was in pubs.
If I had a weird stereotype of all Belgians being hair
stylists for example, I could confirm this by spending all my time in Belgium
in hairdressers. No matter where you go, you will find your stereotypes
answered if you look for them. I prefer to start with a clean slate if possible
and get to know the people as directly as possible. Perhaps more Germans are
rude, strict, humorless and angry than I think, but because I wasn’t looking
for these signs, I didn’t find them.
After discovering all the interesting cultural differences,
what I usually find is that we aren’t that different after all. Its one reason
I can feel at home so quickly in many places. Berlin was one of these places
and I will miss it!
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